Small Man, when he was young. This was taken at about age 7.
I’m very protective of Small Man, which is why I don’t write all that much about him. He was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer when he was three months old, by which time it had already reached stage four. Many long hospital days followed.
Small Man’s cancer was totally gone by the time he was three, but it hasn’t been completely smooth sailing since then. In the years that have followed, he’s had a range of other health issues.
Fast forward a dozen years.
I walked into the dining room early this morning, and found Small Man, who is now sixteen, multi-tasking. The laptop was open to the daily Wikipedia updates, he was “Reviewing the Kinetic Molecular Theory” on his Kindle, and there was a live webcam of grey wolves in Minnesota on the iPad…
It hasn’t been an easy journey, and I’m sure there are challenges yet to come, but at this point in time, our youngest son is having the time of his life.
He is completely and totally fascinated with the universe. There aren’t enough hours in the day for him to learn all the things he would like to know. He’s teaching himself organic chemistry, has a part in the school play, and is working on his golf swing. He is an accomplished amateur magician, enjoys chess and Latin, and has just joined the photography club at school.
So why am I writing this?
Because I now have the gift of hindsight. If anyone had told me when Small Man was two that he would be such an intelligent, interesting human being, I’d have told them they were being optimistic. I’d have been grateful back then for him just to be alive.
To any parent out there with a young child who is unwell, or struggling – I don’t presume to know your situation, but I offer you our story in the hope that it will give you encouragement. I wish I could tell you that everything will be ok in the long run, but I can’t. What I can do is urge you not to give up hope. And to offer you my empathy – I know only too well that the road ahead can sometimes seem so bumpy that it’s hard to maintain your equilibrium.
My wish for you, from the bottom of my heart, is this: at some time in the future, may you also experience the sheer joy and thankfulness that I felt this morning.
. . . . .
God bless us, every one!
A Christmas Carol (1843)
by Charles Dickens
He’s so cute,God bless him. He’s an early bird,by 7am he’s already dressed up surfing the net. May God give you more strength,hope and lots of love .
Thanks Sponge. That photo was taken when he was only little – I didn’t mean to confuse – he’s now a tall lanky teenager. But he’s always been an early bird and he’s always been interested in chemistry! Our friend Diana gave us one of her husband’s old dentistry tunics, and Small Man wore it with aplomb! :)
my dearest celia, behind your words great efforts and pure love feelings do reveal the valuable inherent worth of earthly life! my 13-yrs old nephew is also a life survivor. i just recalled a recent article i ‘ve read on http://barbaraberger.typepad.com/barbaras_blog/2012/09/you-have-inherent-worth-you-are-born-with-it.html
my love to you all! gina
Thanks Gina! I’m glad your nephew is ok! x
Beautiful words Celia. Reading this post was very moving and you must be so proud to see how far Small Man has come. The sheer joy and thankfulness you felt will touch many. From one mother to another- thank you for sharing your special story as I too take time to appreciate and feel these very special moments of motherhood. Wishing all the best to you and your family… xx Emilie
Emilie, thank you. He’s just so intrigued with the world! We feel very blessed!
Celia- you are a giver of great gifts.
Everything you do reaches out to others- to feed, soothe, touch, and comfort those around you- and through your blog- the world.
Thank you for sharing yours and small man’s story- thank you for offering hope and consolation.
Giving of yourself and sharing your hope and love is one of the ultimate gifts .
We all have some story that would help others to bear their loads along the way, but rarely are they given out so freely and lovingly.
Perhaps if more offered encouragement there would be more happy endings in our life stories.
Love you, dear Celia.
Heidi, you’re very kind, thank you, but sometimes stuff just comes out. I can remember so clearly the despair and sense of hopelessness during all those long hospital days – it can be hard to believe there can be a light at the end of the tunnel when you’re going through those times. Love you too. xx
I can understand your protection and am awed by your courage and strength. Your tender mother’s love is felt by all of us this morning. What a wonderful young man your son has become under the loving care of his family. Thank goodness we live in an age where so much can be done for those who are ill. You’ve brought a few tears of gratefulness to my eyes this morning as I send my own boy off to university.. thank you for that gift. xx Smidge
Barb, thank you! All the best to your gorgeous boy as he heads off to university! We are both very blessed! x
What a beautiful and special post to share with us all Celia. Your wonderful son has an incredible mom!
:-) Mandy xo
Mandy, thank you, but truly, he’s taught Pete and his brother and me more than we could ever teach him! x
Thank you Celia. Very moving and thank God for your beautiful gift. Vicki
Thank you, Vicki. All the very best. x
Speechless. All teared up and speechless, this post caught me at a time in which my niece back home is having many struggles with her daughter, a beautiful 8 year old who was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at age 3.
what a beautiful post.
Sally, that is hard, I hope she’s ok. There is a great deal they can do for juvenile arthritis these days.. xx
Lovely post Celia, I hope it gives somebody out there hope, he’s clearly bright…..a guy multi-tasking???? *winks*
Sue, I know! I made the same comment myself. Oh, AND he was eating breakfast. Four things at once? ;-)
You must be so proud and happy for Small Man. What on earth is kinetic molecular theory????? The human mind is an amazing thing.
Deb, yes, very proud of him, because he’s had to really work hard to get where he is. And I have no idea what kinetic molecular theory is – it’s in one of his chemistry books. ;-)
A timely reminder for those who need it to never give up hope. Just lovely, Celia. Thank you. xox
Thank you for understanding, Lizzy – it means a lot to me. xx
I have been drawn to your website for months now and now I know why I love it so. Your compassion and love for life and the people around you vibrates through the life you share with us. Even your recipes care for us and want the best for us. I am so glad you share and so glad for all those who needed to hear your love to them this morning. Such hope you give.
Oh Sally, such a kind comment, thank you. I hope someone finds this post helpful – I remember clearly how hard it was not knowing what might lie ahead. x
From one Sally to another – her comment summarized so well the way I feel, and I just wanted to let you know that.
Sally, thank you dearheart.. xx
Wonderful to hear a bit more about Small Man, Celia. He sounds fascinating as well as fascinated by everything himself – no surprises coming from a family such as yours.
Choc, he’s almost never bored! There’s always something to discover. We learn so much from him – both about the world, and also how to live in it. :)
What a beautiful post, Celia. I had no idea Small Man had cancer. At such a young age! What a difficult time for all of you. I’m so pleased he pulled through. What a busy person he is and so well-rounded – he’s into everything – studies, theatre and sport! What a joy for you to see you son who had such a rough start, now so involved in so many wonderful and interesting pursuits xx
Charlie, he really is enjoying life at the moment. It’s a joy to watch! Thanks love. xx
What a wonderful post. How special Small Man is and how wonderful that he is so interested in everything. I love your words of encouragement. I could have used them 30 years ago when my son was diagnosed with a heart problem. He had surgery to repair a hole in his heart at 3 (not an uncommon thing, actually) but it was discovered he had a defective mitral valve at the time. He had surgery at 14 to repair that problem and he received a pacemaker because the surgery at 3 interrupted his electrical responses between the chambers of his heart. He is now a father of 3, with a degree in aerospace engineering and one in computer science and working at a large airplane manufacturer in the development section. (At least I think this is what he does, he can be too specific). Anyway, cudos to Small Man for being so interested in the world around him and cudos to you for allowing him to grow that interest. The hardest thing I had to do was to step back and let my son be himself. I am so proud of him today as I know you are of your son. Thank you for a wonderful post and for such encouraging words. Thank you for sharing your son’s and your story with us.
Hugs,
Sharon
Sharon, thank you so much! You’ve given me hope – hope for the future! How wonderful that your son is living such a full and happy life! x
What a wonderful blessing your Small Man is indeed Celia, and thank God for such zest for life and love of learning.
Isn’t it amazing to look over these last dozen years and see how far he has come, and certainly can’t imagine life without him… Go and give Small Man a hug from you, Pete, me, and all the rest of us who feel like we’re a part of your beautiful family too! Love and God bless xox
Thanks darling! I’ll do that! :) xx
Lovely post Celia. Such an amazing journey…and amazing small man and his curiosity for the universe. So much to be thankful for, and to cherish. A good reminder for us all. Thanks.
Thanks SG! They grow up so quickly, don’t they? :)
They sure do…much too fast! I should have also said in my comment that it is credit to you and Pete and your parenting that you have ended up with such lovely young men.
Thanks darling! Same goes for you and Andrew – your kids are gorgeous! x
A wonderful post Celia, I am sure it will touch a heart travelling a similar path to the one you were on. I’d like to congratulate Small Man for proving that men multi-task too and, in his case, in a really cool way!
Rose, he’s better at it than most – sometimes. Other times he tries to do too much at once and just crashes and burns. ;-)
Celia, I’ve only recently discovered your blog via a link on cityhippyfarmgirl, Now i know why i found you – for this exact post. My 2.5yr old son was diagnosed with a rare aggressive brain tumor in august. We are currently on round 3 of intensive chemo. To say it’s tough and heartbreaking is a huge understatement as I’m sure you’d be well aware. Everything is so scary, especially the future.
Reading about your little guy gives me hope and strength and I thank you so very much for sharing. Parents of small children with cancer can feel very alone so it’s great to be able to read a shared experience.
I’m so very happy for you that he is well and enjoying life as a teenager. Just as it should be :-)
Julie, thank you for writing, I know how hard it can be to talk about these things while you’re in the midst of them. I hope everything works out ok. It’s such a trying time – our thoughts and prayers are with your little man. Our best wishes to you all. x
I agree with all the comments above Celia. Your post could be posted on the walls of hospital wards to give heart to other parents experiencing the despair and anguish that you and Pete went through. Hope is a precious gift. Yes, indeed, God bless us, everyone.
Thanks Jan. It’s been a long road, but Small Man really seems to have found his groove. :)
Celia, your thoughtfulness of others and your generosity of spirit never fails to inspire me. I’m soooo glad we met in the ether. xxxx
Amanda, you’re very kind, I’m so pleased we met too! If only you lived a little closer, we’d have a blast! :) xx
I think if we lived closer you’d get very sick of me hanging around and begging for chocolate! ;-)
Nah. There’s always plenty of chocolate to go around here. :)
Pretty heavy stuff to tackle in the AM – just brushing my teeth without getting paste on myself is enough of a challenge somedays! Love seeing kids learn and grow and become their only little person:) Have a Great One!
Hehe…sorry to do that to you, Renee.. :)
What a lovely post and the comments are so touching and thoughtful too. Always a pleasure to read your words and share in your thoughts. xxx
Thanks darling. xxx
Celia what a wonderful and touching post. Thanks so much for sharing such a personal story.
It looks like small man isn’t just a survivor he’s thriving and headed towards great things!
Claire, great things are a nice thought, but honestly, I’d be completely content if he just grew up to be happy. :)
Was it neuroblastoma? I have close friends whose babies are suffering or have suffered with this awful childhood cancer. You boy is so lucky to be a survivor. God is good!
Deb, yes it was. And yes, He is. :)
thank you for sharing your truly positive and uplifting story. I am sure it will be a great help to many people reading. I also think that the love you show for him must have been a huge inspiration.
Thank you! He’s a very easy child to love! :)
Someone out there must need this message which you have had the kindness and foresight to share :)
ED, thank you for saying that. Sometimes the words come out by themselves – I’ve learnt not to try to stop them. I hope they’re of some help to someone. x
Beautiful post Celia. I had such a smile when I saw that picture on IG.
Curiosity he has and in abundance. Which as we are currently telling Monkey Boy, is a wonderful wonderful thing.
I often think about what sort of teenager Little Monkey will be. You know of a few of the things that have happened to him in the last few years. Two weeks ago he fell into one of the duck ponds at C Park, can’t swim… oh that boy.
Brydie, they’ve certainly put us through our paces, those younger sons of ours! I can’t wait to see what sort of teenager your Little Monkey grows up to be as well – both your boys are so lovely and so loved. And they’ll have their gorgeous sister to keep them all in line. :)
I’m sure all my grey hair is from the little fella. After the pond ‘incident’ I decided against skateboards for Christmas….seems wise.
Oh Brydie…skateboards, could you imagine? ;-)
Beautifully moving. As I swallow the lump in my through and wipe the tears from my eyes.
Thanks Jason. I hope all is well, and that your spring garden is thriving! :)
The primeval instinct that is evoked when your child is ill – I don’t know how parents of very sick children bear it. What a wonderful, intelligent, inquisitive…alive young man.
Sally, thank you! He really is all that! :)
As I always say you just never know what is behind the scenes of many families that look so perfect and balanced, thank you for remaining one of the most positive people I know, and in spite of all that you and Pete have been through. Roz
Roz, it is always such a joy spending time with you and John. Thanks for being such great friends! :)
A proud mum, and deservedly so ! as others have said a lovely post Celia, and thank you for sharing your’s and Small Man’s story
Thanks Claire! We couldn’t be prouder of him, because he’s a lovely young man, and he’s had to work much harder than most to get to where he is. x
Congratulations on your wonderful patient insightful parenting to date. Life is never easy but for some the little things are the biggest accomplishments and the biggest joys xxx
Thanks Tania! You’re so right – nothing is taken for granted! :)
Thank you for telling us your journey Celia. Small Man’s thirst for knowledge is inspiring. I am grateful daily for the health of my kids.
Jo, there is nothing quite like a serious illness to orientate our priorities. At the end of the day, all that really matters is their happiness and their health. x
This is a very uplifting story that I am so glad that you shared with us. Thank you, Celia. :) xx
You’re welcome, Misky! Thanks for sharing it with us! :)
Thank you, Celi, for sharing such a personal story with us. This post will be of help to more people that you’ll ever know. Although he’ll always be your Small Man, in our eyes, he’s one brave, young Man and it’s remarkable that one so young can teach us so much.
John, thank you – he is very brave, I think. Eats like a wolf too – would make the Italian nonnas proud! :)
What a wonderful post, Celia. I can truly appreciate the photo of Small Man as a lover of chemistry sets myself. I also love the thought of Small Man multi-tasking and my favourite part is the live webcam on the wolves. Was Small Man glued to a computer watching the spaceman jump on Sunday?!
No, he wasn’t, Anna, but wasn’t it great? :)
Both your boys are extraordinary men. But I think everyone could have guessed that with you two as parents ;)
That’s very kind of you, Lorraine, thanks love xx
Amen to this, Celia.
Our youngest was diagnosed with a rare form of epilepsy at 4 months old, and was given a 50% chance of staying a vegetable for the rest of his life. The very best case scenario was a special class for slow learners at a “normal” school. 12 years later, he’s at a selective high school, drug-free and seizure-free – nothing short of a miracle.
We are so lucky to have our beautiful boys, and the blessing of being able to watch them grow into fine young men. The joy is made more fierce by having come so close to losing them.
Kate, that is absolutely wonderful! We really are blessed, aren’t we?
God Bless Him, dear Celia, this is wonderful post. you are so nice. Thanks and Love, nia
Nia, thank you! God really does bless him, indeed. xx
Small Man and you and your family are an inspiration to us all. Thank you for sharing. Hope he has a smooth road ahead of him and I am sure, a bright future.
Norma, thank you! The road is rarely smooth, but we’re hoping for a bright and happy future for him too! :)
Hugs, my friend! What a wonderful post. (And I’m nodding and laughing about the mutitasking… our little genetic experiment does the same thing. :-)
Maz
Thanks darling. That boy of yours is a star! :)
Dear Celia,
What a beautiful post! I can only imagine how proud you are as a mother and I have always thought “Small Man” is such a cute nickname since I have been following your blog. His varied interests reminds me of Stephen Hough – concert pianist, blogger, collector of bow hats and utterly funny if you follow him on Twitter. His insight about life in general, outside of music, is fascinating.
http://chopinandmysaucepan.com/stephen-hough-classical-pianist-by-night-humourist-blogger-by-day
It is a joy to have so many interests in life and also to be appreciative of these interests by living in the now. Living with hope means we truly value what we have and that already makes life worth living. God bless you and your family.
Thank you, Chopinand! What an interesting man Stephen Hough is! I’m going to look up his twitter feed now…
What an uplifting story! It is amazing how resilient we are. So glad he is embracing live with such passion. And so happy for you after what must have been a stressful time when he was a baby
Thanks Johanna! He is certainly living life with gusto! :)
Beautiful, Celia. Thank you for sharing. My son is a bit like that, with the love of so many different things at once. Including the wolves at the moment! Any chance your small man would share a link for the webcam of the wolves?
Of course! It’s at wolf.org – http://www.wolf.org/wolves/webcams/webcam.asp
They’re not always there – the camera is aimed at their den entrance – but a couple of days ago they were racing about and playing just in front of the lens! :)
Thank you so much! I can’t wait to show my son tomorrow. All the best for you and your small man.
You beautiful, beautiful woman. I had no idea your high spirited self had visited the closet of hell. As one who’s lost a small child, I know the despair. I also know there are many, many children who get healthy and move on to become amazing human beings and your encouragement will mean the world.
I’m so glad you’re virtually in my life. :)
Maureen, I’m so sorry to hear that – I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve been through. Thank you for your comment and your great generosity of spirit that it shows. xx
Life is amazing and a gift, and may small man continue to be a blessing :)
Thank you, Tandy! Both our sons are just such a joy to us! xx
I’m so touched you shared your story here, Celia. xx
Thanks Chris. xx
Thank you Celia.
Hi Oz, hope all is well! xx
Looking forward to our own such moments. Thanks for your insights.
xxx
What a fine young man your son is Celia. As parents of young children it is easy to get caught up in the day-to-day struggles and issues. Your post is a wonderful reminder of the bigger picture. Beautiful x
Thanks Jane. Enjoy these years, they grow up too quickly! :) xx
Oh Celia, what a beautiful post. So much so tears are rolling down my face. I read your blog regularly but rarely comment…..but today I felt I must. This post is beautiful and reflects what a beautiful spirit you have. Little Man is not only lucky to have beaten cancer but to have you as his mum. He’s lovely and its great to see a young person with such enthusiasm for life.
Thank you for your blog x
Kaz, thank you so much. Small Man is such a treasure to us – there isn’t a day when he doesn’t make us laugh or fascinate us with some titbit of information! xx
That’s beautiful, Celia. Love to you and Small Man, both.
Thanks darling. xx