There’s a question that comes up regularly amongst bloggers once we start to get to know each other better.
“Are we being honest with our readers?”, we ask each other. “Do we portray our lives as idyllic and perfect, while selectively omitting the bad bits?”
My friend Anne wrote about this last year, and more recently I’ve had a similar discussion with both Jane and Linda. And it is a dilemma, because we want our blogs to be an honest reflection of our lives, not a glossed up magazine version.
When I started this blog all those years ago, it was with the sole aim of cheering myself up. I never planned for it to become anything more than that, and for the first year, I was astonished every time someone read it, because it wasn’t written to an audience – it was just an exercise in focusing my eyes on the positive bits of our lives during a tumultuous time.
As I developed rapport with fellow bloggers who have become very dear friends, I soon realised that everyone has a back story, because no life is without its share of hardships and difficulties. Whether or not folks choose to share this with their readers is a matter of personal choice.
It was my wise friend Linda who put it all into perspective for me when we discussed this recently. She said, “In all the ways that matter, our lives are perfect”.
This afternoon, I went into the vegetable garden which we’ve built from scratch, in the backyard of the house that we’ve lived in for over twenty years. It truly is a home, filled with a loving family and surrounded by friends and neighbours whom we adore.
I harvested a large head of broccoli and served it with dinner, stir fried simply with homegrown leeks and Australian garlic. It was sublime, and fresher than anything we’ve ever eaten at a fancy restaurant. We sat down as a family and chatted, as we almost always do, about the obscure and bizarre.
Linda was right. Despite all the ups and downs, and uncertainties about the future, in all the ways that matter, our lives are perfect. And that’s what this blog is about – the small, perfect pockets of joy that punctuate and define our days. It’s not a glossed up version of our lives – whilst they’re not always easy, they genuinely are filled with great happiness and contentment. Thank you for sharing them with us! ♥
Fig Jam and Lime Cordial 
Thanks for sharing such a moment of joy and the reminder to count blessings. That broccoli looks so yum!
Madge, we all have so many blessings to count, don’t we? Thank you! :)
That broccoli is a beauty! How wonderful to have grown it and then simply prepared it for a meal with family. Not much finer than that…and I would also describe your writing that way: fine and beautiful and also very wise and philosophical. Thank *you* for sharing your life in such a way.
Danielle, what a kind comment, thank you! :) x
That looks delicious! I have chosen not to write about the crummy bits of my life, because I know I am blessed, and who wants to listen to someone whinging?
Deb, we’re both so fortunate in our own ways, aren’t we? :) xx
Beautifully said Celia.
:-) Mandy xo
Thanks Mandy..xx
All What you said, is true! A lovely read & a tasty recipe too!
Sophie, thank you! The broccoli was delicious! :)
💐
Perfectly said, Celia!
Thanks darling xx
I’m so glad that I found your blog through Mandy (the complete cookbook). You express yourself beautifully and I agree with you that for all the turmoil we sometimes find in ours lives, it’s good to step back & think of all the good things we have. Sometimes fresh broccoli, family & friends can make your day.
Thanks for stopping by! Broccoli tends to make me philosophical! :)
Motivations for a starting a blog was entirely different for me but keeping it going has become another issue. Celia you know well that perfection is never worth striving for, just enlightenment. You are frequently gaining on that front and sharing your journey – that is why we read you.
Enlightenment is indeed a great gift, but I feel like we’ve barely scratched the surface of it! :)
Beautifully put Celia – honest and down to earth but with your usual zest for the lovely moments to be savoured in everyday life. No wonder we all love reading your blog!
Andrea, that’s very kind of you, thank you! :)
I am so pleased to have found your blog. It’s always informative and friendly and welcoming, and in a world where those things are often lacking, it feels like an oasis here. Thank you, Celia.
Misky, I feel the same way about yours! It always feels so restful there, despite the renovations and chaos..
Thanks, Celia. Have a lovely weekend.
Hi Celia, One of the things I love about your blog IS that you are honest when you write. If I want to read about glossy, fantasy, ‘perfect life’ families I would pick up a magazine. I much prefer your honesty. Thank you for allowing us into your ‘real’ life.
The broccoli looks delicious too!
Sue
Sue, thank you so much. I have friends who I’ve known for years tell me that my “voice” is true on the blog, and that reading it is a bit like having a conversation with me. That makes me very happy! :)
For a woman who grows such magnificent broccoli you must be perfect!
The truth is even more perfect Elaine, this little beauty was self-sown and self-grown! Free food! :)
Nicely said, Celia. Although, I suspect life is also pretty perfect for your neighbours with whom you share your chocolate and baking love.
Amanda, life is perfect partly because of my fabulous neighbours! :)
Dear Celia,
I love your writing and I agree with Linda.
In hindsight, everything that we have ever done in our lives is perfect because it has built us to become who we are. Sitting down with loved ones, enjoying the freshest home-grown broccoli and chatting about life, we choose to live in the now and appreciate all that we have – material, family or otherwise. And, happiness simply comes from realizing it.
Chopinand, such a wise comment, thank you. It really is all about mindfulness and being grateful for the moment that life has brought us too, isn’t it? :)
I think most of us who read fresh food/simple living blogs know that there is a real person writing who of course has ups and downs. My impression with your blog Celia is that you share the good things but, very importantly, you share how to do them.
Rose, life is very short and any opportunity God gives us to share with others is a gift! :) xx
I have to say that every vegetable that we’ve been gifted by you and Pete has tasted a thousand times better than anything I could buy. And I think readers are smart-they can tell when a blogger isn’t being genuine or not telling the whole truth.
I wish you lived closer, then you could come and raid the garden whenever you wanted!
Thanks for this beautiful post Celia. I feel that way too, often, although in my case I think I have an extra dose of positivity on account of being in my first year of marriage ;) When I think about my life before I met my husband, I know how lucky I am now. Nothing else matters when put in those terms. I suspect most of us who are able to blog are very blessed, even as I also know most (all) of us also have very hard patches at times.
Kari, that’s such a wonderful time of life, enjoy! And I think you’re right – most of us are very blessed indeed, particularly if we have the opportunity to blog about our families and lifestyles.
I can so relate to this! My own blog is neglected right now. My poor garden is neglected. My chooks (who have short memories) have forgotten who I am. I am in one of those vortexes in my other work (which I also love). But this morning I lit the fire and went for a walk and collected some parsley from the garden and ate hot sourdough fresh from the oven and felt thankful for dry firewood and plenty of good food and a beautiful misty wet cold fresh morning. My sister and niece are visiting and my son and some of his friends are coming down this weekend and life is good, in every way that matters.
Linda, I have learnt so much from you over the past few years – not just in terms of gardening, but also in terms of mindset and allowing things to just be what they are. Thank you so much! xx
Good point. I think that it’s mostly just having the opportunity to show the best of one’s self. And there’s surely nothing wrong with that.
Thanks Michelle..
Your broccoli is certainly perfect. As is what you put on the table for dinner. As is sitting around the table as a family swapping stories. I think there are people who get through life with few lows but those people are not the kind you want around your dinner table. People who go through periods of darkness are best comforted by those who have also experienced those times when you feel like your world is completely unraveling.
Charlie, perhaps there really is nothing worse than getting to a certain age and never having had anything happen in life. We are products of our life experiences.. xx
Life is a book of many chapters. Some provide laughter and others inevitable sorrow. It is heartwarming when one reaches a situation on a site when one feels free to state some of the negative and share some of the positive and know other readers can understand the in-between-the lines either way. And that they share what you have allowed a public forum to read . . . and that the vibes are positive one way or the other . . . . .
Thanks Eha..
What a gorgeous head of Broccoli! Well done producing that and keeping the bugs away, I have never managed broccoli or cauliflower!
I started my blog for the same sort of reason, I was in a very introspective state of life after my eldest daughter passed away and I wanted to try and concentrate on positive and happy things.
Nurturing my family with love, food and quality time together (getaways) was my way of dealing with everything, writing about the positive experiences came from that. I would never want to write a negative story, it wouldn’t make me feel good :)
Oh Julie..I’m so sorry to hear this, but also so glad you’ve found some comfort and healing in the blogging process… xxx
Reading this and sending huge hugs!
Thank you for sharing your life with us and for a friendship across this vast space called the web xxx
Tandy, it’s been a joy getting to know you better. And to bake bread with you! :) xxx
I never expect to hear every detail of bloggers’ lives, and there’s an art to writing and sharing on this level. [The G.O. and I workshop our bad bits over a glass of wine… most of which the rest of the world doesn’t need to know about.] I think the difference is blogging vs diarising. Nor are we doing the “I am, I have” Facebook thing! I believe for most, bloggers adopt the attitude… I’ll show you mine but I’m interested in seeing yours”, that’s why we spend the time and effort we do in this space. An intruigung aspect is how we find each other… just like some would think your wonderful broccoli & leek dinner to be their worst nightmare (it’s the G.O. I’m thinking of here), others like me, can see the perfect :)
The GO doesn’t like broccoli and leek? He’d starve here, it’s about all we grow in winter! :)
Dear Celia
I have thoroughly enjoyed your blog over the past few months. Your words in your last post resonate very much with me. Thank- you!
Ros
Ros, thank you. I’ve admired your wares at Eveleigh Markets! :)
Beautiful and honest post and it very much reflects my feelings too!
Chica, thank you! xx
As a fellow blogger with the purpose of inspiring others to grow their own food, I feel it is important to be honest with both the achievements and failures. Great inspiration comes from seeing others achieve despite many failures.
Thanks Jason..
Well said Celia. I read blogs to be inspired not depressed. Hell, we all have problems but we don’t need to tell the world everything. Though never one to strive for perfection, I realised just how perfect my life is when a (younger than me) dear friend died very suddenly and unexpectedly last month. In a flash, everything was put into perspective and made me eternally grateful simply to be alive.
Thanks for sharing your happiness and contentment with life.
And for sharing your other thoughts on Twitter!
Anne, I had a similar experience a few years ago when I also lost a very dear friend in her mid-40s. It made me realise how short life really is! Love your blog, and chatting to you on twitter! :)
I love to eat them… so healthy, so nice… Thank you dear Celia, have a nice weekend, love, nia
Thanks Nia. Happy birthday!! :)
Gorgeous and thanks from the bottom of my heart for being the gorgeous you! So glad I ‘met’ you. Xxx
You’re a treasure and a very dear friend, Ali! It’s been a joy! :) xxx
Hi Celia
Your Butterscotch Bars have become a favourite in our household- we are meetiing our daughter in the Berg for her Birthday weekend, and her first question is “are you making those yummy chocolate bars?”
Not quite as much success with Sourdough Ciabatta, mine seem to spread outwards rather than upwards- but perhaps a Banneton might help with that?
Never the less, 4 somewhat mishapen loaves are coming with us this weekend.
Thank you for the inspiration to try (and try and try….)!
Regards
Gill
Gill, thank you for taking the time to try the recipes! The butterscotch bars are a treasure, aren’t they? The ciabatta – are you using remilled semolina flour as well as bakers flour? Because if you’re using straight bakers, you’ll need to reduce your water content. Also, it varies a bit with individual starters. I hope they taste good though! :)
Celia, your blog never fails to make me smile :) Your posts always honest and heartwarming. Thank you for being my blogging inspiration xx
Lisa, thank you so much! :) xx
[…] read this post by Celia over at Fig Jam and Lime Cordial this morning and it certainly made me […]
Well put Celia! That’s why I so love your blog, because I enjoy reading about a real person who shares real experiences amidst the craziness of life. I appreciate the bits of wisdom you share. Often times I fail to sit back and reflect on life and appreciate all that I have and all that I have to offer. Thank you for sharing!! xx Mel
Hi Mel! Hope you’re traveling well! Thanks for reading along! :) xx
Thank you Celia. You articulate our ‘struggles’so well. Thank you
Oz, sometimes when life is a little flat, my blog is there to remind me that it’s actually perfect! :)
It’s not the hand one’s dealt but the way the cards are played. Your blog is your wild card, Celia, and it’s not only helped your hand but those of your readers, too.
It’s my Joker in the pack, John! Did you and Celi have fun? :)
Yes, Celia. We had a great time. She really is something, you know, and I love playing tour guide. The day passed far too quickly. :)
Celia
The reason I enjoy your blog is your down to earth realism. I don’t often comment but why I love reading your posts is that you portray life as it is – the ups and downs not a sanitised version. I love your generosity in sharing how to not just a photo of the ‘perfect’ end product as well as the little gems of wisdom about life more generally. So from someone who quietly follow your exploits thank you.
Jo, comments like yours make it all worthwhile. Thank you! :)
Well said Celia. I hope you are having a lovely weekend. Your broccoli is impressive! x
Jane, thank you – as you can see, our conversation gave me a lot to think about! xx
I think you are like Mary Poppins, Celia ‘practically perfect in every way’ :) No one who reads your blog could miss the sincerity you bring to every post sweetie, and no one who has two teenage boys could be blamed if they lost it now and then! :) xox
I think…that you are extremely kind, my darling friend. Thank you. :) xxx
Your words are so true. As someone new to blogging I’m increasingly conscious of trying to find the balance between light and shade, how much to share and how much to keep to myself. My past made me who I am, and I am the person I am despite my past. I adore your philosophy and completely agree – what a fabulous outlook to have on life.
And that broccoli looks divine :)
Thanks Jas! Good luck with your new blog – exciting times for you! :)
I so needed to read this Celia, it was meaningful for me to read this. I’m going to make this my motto going forward, “In all the ways that matter, our lives are perfect.” I love that we can focus on the “small perfect pockets of joy”.. Life can be such a struggle sometimes that it is reassuring to know we’re all in this together. xx
Barb, I’m so glad. Your blog is always such a picture of calm and serenity, but I know that life is never completely smooth sailing for any of us, and sometimes that’s what our blogs need to be to keep us sane. They’re like our time out. Does that make sense? :)
You speak the truth, Celia- in all the ways that you share. Keeping silent about the things that are momentarily painful, holding out the beauty in your everyday and celebrating family, relationships and good gardening and cooking makes your blog and you a constant delight. Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful!
Love you and your blog, and I’m so glad I have a friend like you half a world away!
Heidi, ditto! I love that I can tell folks about my bread teddies were taught to me by my friend Heidi on the other side of the world! You have been one of the great joys to come out of blogging for me! xx
Celia, thanks for the reminder. I have often wondered if maybe we should be showing warts and all but finally came to the conclusion that I’ll tell on my blog what I’d tell my friends. Nothing more, nothing less. I normally play my cards close to my chest but occasionally it feels good to share even the icky stuff.
Your broccoli looks smashing!
Maureen, we all find the line in the sand that works for us, don’t we? I love your blog! xx
I’ve been meaning to stop by and say how much I loved this post, and finally have a chance to do that: AWESOME POST!
I agree with everything you said so beautifully!
a subject definitely worth bringing up in a blog – at some point I should follow along your footsteps and do the same at the BK ;-)
Thanks Sally darling. I look forward to reading your post if you ever write it! xx
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That says it all for me.
Thank you! :)
Perfectly said Celia :-)
Perfectly said! I’ve recently been wondering about how I can share more ‘real’ moments. I think all we can do is be open and honest with our writing and interactions. Thank you for reminding me.