Big Boy is now twenty.
When I first started this blog, he was just sixteen years old. At the time, he was already very mature for his age, but over the past four years, he’s grown into an adult, with his own opinions and tastes.
Somewhere along the way, our relationship changed – evolved – as Pete and I make a concerted effort to let go. He still pays a lot of attention to our offered opinions but, while he knows we’ll always have his back, his decisions on the important aspects of life are now his own.
Earlier this week, we were in the city and found ourselves looking for a place to eat lunch. “What about Korean barbecue?”, offered our son, “I know a great place on Pitt Street..” And with that he led us to Madang, one of his favourite restaurants, hidden away in a little alley off the main road.
We’d never eaten this style of food before, so Big Boy pointed out the best dishes on the menu, ordered, and then taught us how to cook the food when it arrived. And the meal was lovely, but not nearly as lovely as watching our adult son, so comfortable in what is now his city, excitedly sharing something that he’d discovered without us. ♥
Fig Jam and Lime Cordial 
I love it when they grow up and become people with their own opinions!
It’s like a quantum shift, isn’t it, Pat? And just the best thing ever for a parent… x
Sweet post…. it must be an amazing feeling to witness the transformation of a human being, from a helpless baby, to a toddler, a teenager, an adult man!
Sally, it’s been a joyous, rewarding journey. x
You must be very proud, it sounds like he is turning into a fine young man.
Tony, thank you – we couldn’t be prouder of both of them!
Oh we used to go to Korean BBQs frequently; my boys craved it! I still have to keep kim chi in the fridge for my youngest!
Misky, it was such an adventure – I wasn’t sure what was going on when they came over and set fire to the burner in the middle of our table.. ;-)
Your clothes smell of cooked food and garlic? ;)
Yep, for a whole day afterwards! :)
How wonderful Celia. It’s amazing how they go from child to adult over night.
Have a beautiful weekend.
:-) Mandy xo
Mandy, it really hasn’t been overnight, but things do seem to change in quantum leaps.. :)
I do love it when our children can introduce us to new places and teach us from their experiences. Grown up children are a real blessing and a treasure to get to know all over again.
Great post, Celia
Heidi, thank you. It was a little moment, and I wanted to both remember it and share it. :)
Wonderful, Celia….
Thanks Lizzy darling.. xx
Oh how your heart must have swelled with pride and sung!
Jo, thank you for understanding and not thinking that I’m a nutter. :)
Our daughter (22), took me to breakfast in Denver a few months back, so pleased to introduce me to her neighborhood place. It was such a pleasure to watch her interact so confidently, eager to share a piece of life she discovered all on her own. What a treasure — I savored that moment. :)
Judy, you understand exactly how I felt! I couldn’t get the grin off my face.. :)
Lovely post! It is very rewarding when the children grow up confident and reliable. What a blessing your boys are. I guess it’s the parents that have to let them have room and some freedom to spread their wings and fly, so to say. I am slowly learning as my children get older! Sounds like a unique place to eat. You even get to help prepare the food!
Manuela, they are such a joy to Pete and I, we really are very blessed. It’s hard not to be overprotective, particularly of Small Man, but I’m getting better.. :)
My elder son, Baki is just 8, but I have seen such a change in him lately. I realized that he is no longer a baby, and that was such a shock! Even though he is still young, I find myself having to give him more space. But if I step back, I find I can learn from him, and that’s pretty neat. I hope one day he will have the confidence in us that your Big Boy has in you!
Siobhan, parenthood is such an interesting transition – both for the child AND the parent! No-one really gives you a guidebook – we all just have to fly by the seat of our pants and do the best we can with the individual we’ve been given to take care of.. x
It isn´t easy to let kids go but it shows us that we taught them well and they can go on managing their lives.
It´s kind of rewarding, no???
Lovely post.
Ale, it’s the most rewarding thing in the world! :) xx
There is not a lot of time in four years but somehow there’s a quantum leap between being a 16 year old boy and a 20 year old man. How lovely to have Big Boy introduce you to something he’s discovered for himself. He seems like such a lovely young man xx
Charlie, thank you, our kids are almost the same age, so I’m sure you know exactly how I felt. And your Archie has been independent even longer! :)
From Big Boy’s POV and mine, it’s nice to share your own things that you have discovered with willing parents… who after all got you to this place in your life. It’s quite an accomplishment for all of you to go from the adult-child dynamic to contemporaries… and beyond 😊
ED, it’s been a gentle shift – thankfully we haven’t had to fight any battles over it!
This post gave me goosebumps. It is an amazing transformation. Reminds me of visiting our younger daughter when she was living in Japan (age 22) and being introduced to her neighbourhood in a different country and listening to her converse confidently in another language, too.
Fairy, that must have been an amazing experience! Thanks for understanding how important this seemingly small event was for me. :)
My boy will be 20 in a week and I have found the letting go very difficult, but ultimately so rewarding as I watch him develop. What has helped has been the positive comments we so often hear from others whose paths cross our son’s – it makes the separation worthwhile. It’s funny, isn’t it – when they are babies it is them who suffer separation anxiety, now it’s our turn.
Amanda, it’s a bittersweet process, isn’t it? Pete has been much better with it than I have, but I’m a work in progress. :)
Isn’t that a parent’s perfect moment – just beautiful! Also encapsulates the transmission of your family values (and tastes!) perfectly.
Thanks love. And thanks for being around while it all happens.. x
Such wonderful memory to treasure. I can feel the pride and joy in your writing. Congratulations to you and Pete.
Norma, thank you, we’re so proud of both of them. It was such a little thing, but I wanted to blog about it so I didn’t lose it. :)
This made me cry Celia, not only because I know you and Pete are amazing parents and I have met your lovely young man but because it is a time of deep sadness and complete joy when you step back and regard your handywork. Its hard to let go , and it’s even harder to hang on! As Amanda says it is lovely to hear peoples positive comments when people cross paths with our now independent children. Oh *sniff* lovely
Thanks darling. As you say, it’s a very bittersweet time.
As a child (without any children of my own), it’s always so satisfying to be able to introduce something to my parents! I love taking them out for a meal or cooking them one! What a lovely story.
Thanks Clare! I’m sure your parents are always thrilled! :)
Can you imagine how pleased and confident your son must have felt afterwards, how happy he could show you a part of ‘his now world’ and share it with you!I Don’t think this means ‘letting go’ just doing things together on a different basis. And yes, i love Korean barbecues: more taste and interest than most others in the SE & E Pacific region . . .
It was a new adventure for us, Eha, and we loved it!
I love that they grow up and become independent but just a teensy part of me wants them to call me mummy all over again. :)
I really enjoy Korean bbq.
I know M, I know. There’s a part of me that would adore having a preschooler again…
What a fabulous meal and yes both Big Boy and Small Man are extraordinary boys ahem men! :D
Thanks Lorraine! xx
You have amazing relationships with your sons Celia. As a mum of younger children I love hearing about your relationships with your boys. I can only hope my mothering is half as good as yours! x
Jane, I think you’re a wonderful mother! And your kids are having such rich, full lives.. xx
4 years can be such a short amount of time, and it can be a lifetime Celia! You must be so very proud to have raised such a headstrong and independent man. Well done Mumma ;)
Lisa, your little one is still tiny, enjoy! The time seems to wizz past so quickly! Thank you – we’re very proud of both of them! :)
I love having adult children!
I’ve discovered I do too, Mimi! :)
It seems like once they reach sixteen everything excellerates like bolting broccoli. I find myself looking at little toddlers and wondering how mine turned into this grownup person overnight. Grats on raising a wonderful human. Hugs, Maz.
Maz, your son gets taller with every photo you post! And you’re the coolest mum ever! :)
I bet there was plenty of pride to go around that table. You and Pete for having raised such a fine young man, and, Big Boy for getting a chance to show you “his” Sydney. Good for you all!
Thanks John! As I said, it was just a small thing, but I’m so grateful that all of you understood what a happy little moment it was.. xx
What a gorgeous meal. My big boy is turning 18 shortly… it is such a transition for me too :0 Like your son he has always been very mature.
This was such a lovely story :)
Good job mum xx
Julie, they grow up so fast! Aren’t we so lucky to have them? xx
What a lovely post Celia x
Thanks Claire love! It’s not his birthday though – he’ll be 21 soon! :)
How lovely for your relationship to develop into such a strong friendship as your boys grow up. You and Pete have set such great examples for them that you shouldn’t be at all surprised xox
Becca, you’re always so kind, thank you! Both the boys are surprisingly patient with me.. :)
How absolutely awesome!
Tandy thank you! It was pretty wonderful.. x
My daughter is 16, about to be 17 and I love how our relationship is changing. Agree with Tandy about the awesomeness.
Sally, I’m so glad you’re having a good time with your girls – 16/17 can be a pretty emotional age! (I remember it from my own teenage years!)
awww…that panged my heart a little Celia. xxx
Your turn will come, darling.. :)
My eyes are all misty. My little girl is just about to turn 7 and I already wonder at how worldly she is. How will I cope when she turns 20 and shows me a thing or 2 about the world? I am both terrified and excited at the prospect. Your boys sound like amazing young adults.
Don’t blink Vita, because it happens in a heartbeat.. :) And thank you, we’re biased, but we think our boys are wonderful! :)
Every mother’s dream surely??