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Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

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« Mussels and Cuttlefish Ink
Pasta al Tonno et Limone »

Cat Toys

November 14, 2014 by Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

As I’ve mentioned before, I adore trivia.

To that effect, I have a large collection of the Uncle John Bathroom Readers, supplying me with well-written, well-researched snippets that often turn into dinner table conversations…

I know it’s a little risque, but this one made me laugh out loud, so I thought I’d share…

You know the expression, “get the monkey off your back?”

In our house, that’s now been replaced with, “shake the cat off your scrote” (Big Boy’s suggestion, credit where it’s due).

Happy Friday, folks! :)

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Posted in Food & Friends | 47 Comments

47 Responses

  1. on November 14, 2014 at 8:31 am sallybr

    PRICELESS!!!!!!!

    Oh, my gosh, this was too good! So much for a nice guy who cleans the bathtub…. never again, right?

    :-)


    • on November 16, 2014 at 9:33 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      I know! Hardly positive reinforcement! :)


  2. on November 14, 2014 at 8:36 am dianeskitchentable

    Well cats do like to play with dangling things. A while ago I had a plumber under the kitchen sink fixing a leak. Moe the Terrorist Cat, still a kitten really loves open cabinets and wanted to see what was going on under there so he jumped on the back of the plumber’s neck. I heard the poor guy bang his head on the pipe and yell. At least he wasn’t hurt or even angry (he likes cats) – he was just surprised and didn’t know what had landed on him. I’m really glad that he wasn’t using a blowtorch at the time.


  3. on November 14, 2014 at 8:50 am dianeskitchentable

    Omg Celia! I just want to clarify…my plumber was fully dressed.


    • on November 14, 2014 at 8:58 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      Yeah right, sure he was, Diane. Hehehe… ;-)


      • on November 14, 2014 at 11:19 am dianeskitchentable

        No, no he really had all of his clothes on. Although, there is that joke about all plumbers displaying their butt cracks (and he was no exception).


  4. on November 14, 2014 at 8:53 am theclevercarrot

    I’m dying. This is hilarious. Speaking of risque, have you heard of Cards Against Humanity? I just played for the first time recently and I’m still scarred.


    • on November 16, 2014 at 9:34 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      I haven’t played it, but I’ve heard about it! I think I’m a bit scared to even investigate what it involves! :)


      • on November 16, 2014 at 10:30 am theclevercarrot

        It’s horrible! Stay away! Or just drink something to numb the pain (or guilty laughter) xo


  5. on November 14, 2014 at 9:03 am Anne Wheaton

    Just read this before going to bed. May chuckle all night now.


    • on November 16, 2014 at 9:34 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      Hehehe…when I wrote this, I knew EXACTLY which of my blogger friends were going to comment. And I was bang on the money.. :)


  6. on November 14, 2014 at 9:03 am Maureen | Orgasmic Chef

    ROFL I will never think of Big Boy in the same way again :)


    • on November 16, 2014 at 9:35 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      He has a WICKED sense of humour. :)


  7. on November 14, 2014 at 9:23 am Nic

    There will be much wincing from the menfolk in the house when I retell that little ditty!


    • on November 16, 2014 at 9:35 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      Hahaha!


  8. on November 14, 2014 at 9:27 am thevillagehomestead

    Hil… ARIOUS!


    • on November 16, 2014 at 9:35 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      We’ve giggled about it for a week! Tell Ryan Gosling to watch out for the cat! :)


  9. on November 14, 2014 at 11:39 am joanne

    You made my evening, Celia.Thanks


    • on November 16, 2014 at 9:36 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      I’m so glad to hear that – sometimes I worry when I put posts up like this about how they’ll be received! :)


  10. on November 14, 2014 at 1:38 pm Le Petit Potager

    Celia, just roared with laughter! I thought I would read your email before attempting a difficult online exam…..just what I needed some levity


    • on November 16, 2014 at 9:36 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      Hope the exam went well, Elaine! :)


  11. on November 14, 2014 at 1:54 pm EllaDee

    Ok, I’m laughing out loud too and have the most bizarre image in my head… I’ll never look at a bathtub the same way again ;)


    • on November 16, 2014 at 9:36 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      Oh how we laughed at your email, ED! :)


  12. on November 14, 2014 at 4:45 pm niasunset

    This was sooooooo soooo funny :) I am still laughing… Thank you, Have a nice weekend, love, nia


    • on November 16, 2014 at 9:36 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      Nia, you HAVE cats, so you know how they pounce! :)


  13. on November 14, 2014 at 7:28 pm fergie51

    What a crack up! (So to speak)


    • on November 16, 2014 at 9:37 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      Oh. Dear. :)


  14. on November 15, 2014 at 2:56 am MamaD1xx4xy

    Now that is dinner conversation in our family!


    • on November 16, 2014 at 9:37 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      Hahaha…I can just imagine with three boys at home. “Now listen, don’t ever wave your testicles in front of the cat, sons, or anything might happen..” :D


  15. on November 15, 2014 at 7:58 am Chica Andaluza

    Oh god that was so funny I snorted with laughter, then Big Man asked what I was laughing at so I had to translate this into Spanish. He is now sharing the story with a pal of his in Spain on the phone :)


    • on November 15, 2014 at 8:10 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      What’s the Spanish word for “dangle”? ;-)


      • on November 15, 2014 at 8:18 am Chica Andaluza

        The closest I could get was oscilar – oscilate (not sure how you spell it)…but I accompanied my translation with hand movements (like any good mediterranean) and he understood quickly!!!


        • on November 16, 2014 at 9:38 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

          I now can’t get the image of your “hand gestures” out of my head.. ;-)


  16. on November 15, 2014 at 9:19 am themateriallady

    Very funny -but I still can’t imagine a man cleaning the bath tub voluntarily. Love a good cat story though!


    • on November 16, 2014 at 9:38 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      I have one who will! Not in the nude though.. :)


  17. on November 15, 2014 at 11:42 am My Kitchen Stories

    Very funny Celia. i wondered how you were going to weave cats stories and books together…


    • on November 16, 2014 at 9:38 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      It did make me laugh! :)


  18. on November 15, 2014 at 11:54 am theintolerantchef

    So funny, I just laughed and laughed! It reminded me of the time I was in a bubble bath and the cat was walking along the edge of it exploring…until he slipped. A scrabble, a howl and a spring onto the two islands protruding from the bubbles- and they weren’t my knees. The result? Another scrabble, another scream, a leap and a very wet cat! :) xox


    • on November 16, 2014 at 9:39 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      Becca, ouch!! :)


  19. on November 15, 2014 at 1:48 pm narf77

    SO glad we don’t have a cat! ;)


    • on November 16, 2014 at 9:39 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      Hahaha… :)


  20. on November 16, 2014 at 6:32 am marilynscottwaters

    We have a new kitten. I’ll warn the menfolk. Laughing so hard, Maz.


    • on November 16, 2014 at 9:39 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      They’ll roll their eyes at you…and me! :)


  21. on November 16, 2014 at 8:48 am hotlyspiced

    Thanks for brightening my day. That’s a great story. Beware of cats, I’d say xx


    • on November 16, 2014 at 9:40 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      Pete said you should never dangle things in front of a cat. Too true! :)


  22. on November 16, 2014 at 1:58 pm tiffinbitesized

    Sounds like something out of the latest episode of Law & Order! Thanks for the laugh.


    • on November 17, 2014 at 6:41 am Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial

      Heey, she’s back! :) Hope you had a most wonderful time, Fiona! x



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