When Pete and I met our new friend Valentina recently, she paid us a lovely compliment. She thought we were dating. It’s nice to be thought of as new lovers, when in reality, we’re very, very old ones.
Some of you will have seen this photo before. When it was taken in 1984, we were just 19 years old, and we’d been together for about six months. Since our engagement in 1986, I can count on one hand (ok, maybe two) the number of days we’ve been apart. We spend a lot of time together – much more than most married couples – and yet we’ve never tired of each other’s company, or felt the need for “alone” time.
If I was ever asked what I have to show for my life – this is the first thing I would offer. Our close, loving relationship has survived the many obstacles life has thrown at us. It hasn’t been easy, but over our 32 years together, we’ve grown closer than we ever thought possible. This has been my life’s work. It gives meaning and structure to my existence. It defines me.
. . . . .
And then, there are these two.
Our sons make me so happy that sometimes I think my heart will burst. Even as young adults, they constantly delight us, and I’m always amazed by how sophisticated and varied their daily conversations can be.
Big Boy has a razor sharp wit and a backbone of steel, tempered with loving, gentle kindness. Small Man is quirky, enthusiastic, and ever so slightly brilliant. We found out the other day that he’s taught himself the Cyrillic alphabet and is currently learning Japanese Kanji (for fun).
Our parenting goal has never been to raise academically or fiscally successful children. We’ve never pushed them to excel at sports or music, nor have we intervened in their choice of friends. Instead, we’ve worked hard to ensure they have healthy self-esteems, respectful attitudes towards others, and kind, compassionate natures.
Along the way, we’ve celebrated their individuality – our children are so much more than mere byproducts of our genetic mingling. They have their own distinct personalities and opinions, and a unique outlook on the world. I will often turn to them for perspective and advice.
Every aspect of our family dynamic – the laughing, crying, talking, debating, cooking, eating, teaching, sitting, driving, watching, holding, comforting, nurturing, sharing, rejoicing – all these glorious moments, which even at the worst of times were glorious by virtue of the fact that we were all together – these are the moments which define me. These are the things that I measure myself on.
. . . . .
There are other things too.
From a very young age, I’ve needed to make things with my hands. It used to drive Pete crazy, but because he’s a saint, he soon became very adept at finding ways to store the paraphernalia associated with my various hobbies.
My enthusiasms have always been a big part of who I am, and the satisfaction I get from creating something from raw materials is enormous. It really doesn’t matter whether it’s a vintage crystal spider, or a loaf of bread, or a polarfleece jacket pieced together from scrap.
Recently, the sourdough mania has taken on a life of its own.
It has become so much more than simply turning flour and water into food. Baking bread has led to friendships within my immediate community and, through the sharing of Priscilla, with a world-wide family of sourdough bakers. It has enabled me to connect with like-minded individuals around the globe in a meaningful, rewarding way.
To a large extent, I believe we’re all defined by our human interactions. My immediate and extended family are amazing, as are my wonderful all-weather friends (I don’t need just fair or foul weather ones). They enrich my life, and I treasure them greatly.
And over the years, this blog, and my interactions with all of you, has become a large part of who I am and how I see myself. I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, but I work very hard not to promote Fig Jam and Lime Cordial. I’ve basically ignored all those articles on “how to have a successful blog” – I don’t tag my posts, I don’t attend blogger functions, I don’t stay on topic. So I know that any of you who read my ramblings, or even more generously, take the time to comment, have found your way here because you’re genuinely interested in what I have to say. For that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
. . . . .
As our close friends know, bits of our life are hard at the moment. That’s not surprising – very few people make it to their 50s without trials and challenges along the way. But these difficulties rarely make it onto our blog – not because I wish to present a glossied up version of our lives – but because I refuse to let them define who I am. Yes, things do get a bit tricky at times, and some days that can feel overwhelming, but right now, at this moment in time, life is grand.
This moment, as I sit here in the quiet of an early Sunday morning, scribbling on a scrap of paper, sipping hot chocolate, listening to the hum of the oven, feeling the warmth of the gas heater, watching my dough rise – this moment is perfect. And really, this moment is all we ever have – it’s our only reality.
. . . . .
I believe…that we need to make conscious choices about what we allow to define us. And that if we take our measure from the positive things in our lives rather than the negative ones, we’re far more likely to find enduring happiness and contentment.
I’d love to know what defines you. If you’re inclined to share, please feel free to leave as long (or as short) a comment below as you wish. ♥
Fig Jam and Lime Cordial 
I like your blog the way it is. It is honest and from the heart. I appreciate the expression of your enjoyment and contentment in your life. It gives me hope and makes me smile. It doesn’t hurt that it makes me laugh out loud more often than not. Please continue. All the best to you.
Thanks Jody! I’m glad it makes you laugh as well – bits of my life are hilarious! I’m sure that’s the case for all of us.. :)
Dearest Celia, your reflection today is exactly the reason I look forward to your blog. Thank you for your warmth and sincere thoughts. Enjoy your week and may we all take a moment to appreciate the positive moments of each day. Kindest regards,
Ann
Ann, such a kind comment, thank you. I hope your week has been filled with positive moments – reading all these comments has certainly filled my week with joy! x
What a beautiful post Celia, it was truly a joy to read and such wise words. I think your last two paragraphs are an affirmation that would serve us all well…thank you.
Carolyn, thank you! When I saw Juan and Olivia at the markets last weekend, they told me how touched they’d been to get a phone call from you telling them how happy you were with their pendant. Not everyone is kind enough to give positive feedback, and yours made them so happy! As you said in your last comment, this is what it’s all about, the sharing and looking after one another! :)
I love your blog and look forward to it. I would love to live near you and visit. I too take pleasure in doing things with my hands (sewing, quilting , needlework). Thank you for your inspiring words.
Thank you for taking the time to read them! :) There’s something magical about producing something by hand, and watching it take shape in front of our eyes. Pete banned quilting though. He said, “babe, can you imagine what this house would look like if we had to keep every 4″ scrap of fabric?” :)
I enjoy blogging because I can connect with people like you . Your post today came at the perfect moment for me. Reading it helped to put my life back into the right perspective for the problems I am encountering right now. Thank you Celia , keep up the good work.
Gerlinde, your comment alone made this post worth writing, thank you. I hope your problems resolve soon. x
Your enthusiasm and your love and warmth shines through both your blog and you Celia. I feel blessed that you are a part of our lives. These posts are always special and I hope the perfect moments keep coming strong amidst the realities of life.
As you know, I’m in the process of reassessing and I guess redefining my purpose. Ive always thought my purpose was to work hard and make things better and easier for those I love. I think I’m coming to the realisation (I’m slow I know) that my purpose at the moment is to look after myself so that I can TRULY care for those around me and together we can enjoy those perfect moments instead of rushing on and on and on. Because as you say, it is all about our interactions with one another!
With all my love to you and yours. Alison xxx
Ali darling, when Small Man was sick, the advice I was given was this – it’s like they tell you when you get on a plane, you have to fix your own oxygen mask first before you can help anyone else. I hope you can disentangle yourself and find room to breathe. Thinking of you and sending much love.. xxx
All the things you are is why we all like to feel a part of your life, Celia.
For those of us who have had to battle enormous obstacles in our lives it takes great effort to not let those obstacles define us, instead becoming who we are in spite of them. Like you.
Also, as an aside, I hate that you appear not to have aged hardly at all since that photo was taken all those years ago.
xxx
A, I know you understand, thank you. And you’re very kind, but I’m as old as the (Adelaide) hills! :)
I’m completely choked up Celia, I can’t say anything except I am so grateful for the day I landed on your blog and found you.
And I don’t choke up easily. Sniff. Cyber hugs.
Thank you, lovely. Having met you and Tony, I know you know what I’m trying to say.. xxx
I so agree with you Celia. It is keeping true to yourself, and not letting people causeyou to do or say things that are against your ethics, that gives strength and credibility for the future.
God bless.
Meg, I wrote a couple of years ago about not letting people disempower us. What you say is so true. I find it much easier to resist “peer pressure” with such a strong, loving family around me.
beautiful post. love that ’84 photo. like you, I think if our boys grow up to be kind, and happy, rather than the smartest/richest/most successful, then we have done the best we can. x
Thanks Pina! Do you like the beret? :) I think all our boys are well on track to being happy! :)
Beautiful words…..I’m supporting a friend through cancer right now and oh my it’s quite challenging and confronting, I think she is struggling with what defines her as she prepares for a mastectomy and losing her hair….she has told me that a woman should never have to do that ever, but then a mother should never have to lose a child either and yet she has done that also. She is such a brave soul….perspective is precious right now x
Chrissy, such a hard time for your friend AND you. I hope she’s ok – she’s very lucky to have you. x
What a lovely post. Having met you and Pete, I can see how your love and kindness comes through in your blog. I am happy to know you and wish you all the best.
Debra, we adore you!! Come back to Sydney and play with us again! :)
I’m not a “blogger” but recently have been reading about your very inspiring life every week. The way you describe your adventures everywhere you go makes me feel that I’m there with you discovering new things and hopefully can visit your country one of these days. I really enjoyed reading your blog today and wish that everyone will gain something from it. You are truly someone who is so talented in everything you do and from reading your blogs, a very caring person. I’m so thankful for discovering your blog.
Joanne, you’re very kind, thank you for sharing in our adventures with us! Wishing you very many positive moments this week! :)
Lovely to read your post. I can relate to so many of your comments and musings. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for reading! :)
I love the photo of you and Pete from all those years ago and really, you two haven’t changed much at all. Great to see a relationship that’s endured through all the challenges life can throw at it. Beautiful words, Celia, and a great post xx
Thanks lovely, we’ve both been blessed with long, happy marriages! How lucky are we, right? :)
If I had only 2 words to describe you, they would be lovely and real. If I had 2 more – amazing and inspiring! It is so wonderful to know you both online and for real. The world needs more people who can be defined by their positive values not by what, how much they have or what they do for a living: you and Pete are a wake up call that those things matter less.
As for what defines me, that’s a little trickier as I’m definition averse, I prefer the space of mutability, possibility :)
ED, you’re very sweet, thank you! It was so much fun to meet up with you last weekend! I know many people who describe their lives in terms of what they *don’t* have. It never seems to make them happy. I’m sitting here typing this comment in my warm house, listening to Small Man singing as he walks up the hallway. How could life get better? :)
I am SO jealous and yes I know ‘it’ takes work and you DID it!! I thoroughly enjoy what you call your ramblings, so glad I found your post! Thank you.
Susan, I am acutely aware of how rare our relationship is, and how blessed we are. Thank you for seeing it too! :)
I love your blog, though it does make me want to live in Sydney so I can be near the shops!
Hahaha…I often get blamed when people spend money! :) I adore living in Sydney, I don’t think I could ever live anywhere else.. :)
This is lovely, Celia. The way you live and love definitely defines you and Pete. I have found that the happier I am, the luckier I become.
Maureen, then you must be the luckiest lady in the world, because you’re always so happy! I love any opportunity I get to talk to you! :)
Ah Celia I salute your generosity in sharing your wisdom. Counting my blessings, even when they appear to be ‘thin on the ground’, is what I hope defines me.
Madge, I hope all is well with you and your family. I think about you often. All the best to you all.. xxx
Hi Celia, I read your blog but hardly ever comment. I thought I knew what defines me, I have great kids and a wonderful marriage. Family means most to me, especially now that I am growing older. Two months ago my mom passed away from a terrible cancer. I’m feeling confused at the moment at what defines me. This is such a lovely post. Thank you!
Cheri, I’m so sorry to hear that. I hope you find your balance again soon. Sending you our very best wishes.. xxx
This is such a lovely post that I, lurker of several years, feel compelled to comment. I have a 16-month old and I worry every day about how to teach him to grow up to be a good man. Your words today are very much what I needed to hear.
You have a wonderful blog and it’s a joy to read it. Thank you.
Santwona, thank you for taking the time to comment! 16 months old, what a wonderful time! I think as parents we need to consider really carefully what we want for our children. If you want your son to be a good man, if *that* is your end goal, rather than wanting him to be rich or successful, then I think he’s a very lucky boy to be in your excellent hands. All the best to you. :)
Reading this just gave me goosebumps Celia. You have such a way with words and I’m so glad I found my way to you and your insightful ramblings xx
Ahh you’re a treasure, my mad friend in Shanghai! When I wrote about the human interactions that resulted from sharing Priscilla, you were at the forefront of my mind. I so enjoyed sharing the Lucy Liu adventure with you! :)
Celia…this post brings me joy and happiness in a way I cannot put into words. I adore being part of your wonderful online community…in a small way. x
Jane, I know this sounds bizarre, but on my Sunday mornings, when it’s quiet and I’m warm and cozy and pottering in the kitchen, I often think of you and wonder if you’re doing the same thing, right at that moment, in your kitchen in Broken Hill. You’re a part of my community, but it certainly isn’t in a small way. :) xxx
What a beautiful piece of writing and congratulations on being such an inspiration to all.
Thank you so much! :)
I enjoy your blog so much Celia, and get more out of it than you may know … I am just about to embark on doing my own blog, and like you it is for no other reason that to share what “food” knowledge I have … that gives me so much joy … and what I love about your blog too Celia, is that I know you do it also for the love of sharing … and I thank you for that xo
Gina, all the very best with your new blog adventure! Thank you very much for such a lovely comment! :)
I look forward to your ramblings. Celia you are a gem.
Miranda, thank you! :)
Dear Celia, I love your blog. When I first signed up it was because of our joint interest and love for baking sourdough bread but every time I read a new post from you I discover something new and fascinating about your life and the fascinating city we both live in. You are always sincere and positive and I always fell very positive about my life as well after I’ve read your blog. Thanks
Mary, such a kind comment, thank you! If reading my blog makes you feel more positive, then that makes it all worthwhile. Thanks again! :)
WOW …. Celia I read all your posts and admit to looking forward to them but this in my humble opinion is definitely your best ever post – it resonates with me on almost every level – especially your comment on how you are defined by your work as a wife and mother…as am I. Along with you I have many other defining features in my life but it’s my role as wife and mother that simply bring me a sense of what I was always destined to be – I too have two lads aged 19 & 17 and they to amaze me with their confidence , humour and observations – thank you again for a wonderful post that I will copy and show my girlfriends who have at times wondered what on earth their purpose is as they age 👫😊
Thank you for understanding so well what I was trying to say! I’ve had a lot of friends seeking “purpose” as well as their kids grow up and become independent. I sometimes think society imposes an expectation on us to “do something with our lives” without acknowledging that raising and nurturing a happy family is a huge achievement! :)
Perhaps your family having a ‘backbone of steel’ helps any and all of us work on ours also . . .
Eha, thank you – I think we’re fortunate to be able to draw strength from each other…
So true Celia…sometimes we really need to put aside the cooking (in my case) and just reflect…We need those moments of reflection to keeps us going..
Lina, and what joyous and happy moments we have! :)
This was a beautiful and heartfelt post. I really loved and I’ve enjoyed your blog for many months now. Your spirit and enthusiasm shine through each and every post but in this one it shines through the brightest. I, too, rarely share the difficult times because I try really hard to not let them define me. Keep up the amazing work and your beautiful spirit.
Maggie, thank you for taking the time to read it and for understanding! I hope you thoroughly enjoy your last few weeks in Korea, and that the transition home goes smoothly.
Thank you so much, Celia! So far they are going swimmingly!
You, your family and your blog are a treasure. Those of us who read it are the lucky ones:)
Ah you’re kind Jo, thank you. Good luck with the exam tomorrow!! :)
I love your blog because it is so grounded. You show us all that nothing fancy is needed to live an interesting life, just an interest in life. Thank you!
Gail, your comment made me happy, because you’re so right! We’re interested in almost everything, which makes for a very interesting life! :)
Celia, yet once again by the depth and beauty of you chosen words you have not only shared your family and life with us but also given us insight so we too can open ourselves up some more. I feel as if I’ve known you for yonks and I look forward to your blog in the mornings knowing the package I open up just crackles with enthusiasm, fun and a true zest for life. Thank you so much.
Heather, you’re very kind, thank you! It’s lovely to “talk” to you in the mornings! :)
A beautiful and heartfelt blog! Very inspiring
Thank you! :)
Lovely post Celia. What defines me is a moveable feast but I hope at my funeral they’d say ‘She was loud, bossy, generous and treated everyone the same, regardless of who they were. She was also an ardent fan of Duran Duran.’
Duran Duran? Good for you. My tastes were always far more soppy than boppy – Air Supply. Phil Collins, Chicago… :) I can’t believe you’re bossy, love.. ;-)
Love this post. Your life is very rich indeed. And we are so lucky that you choose to share so generously with us.
Sending you best wishes and strength for the difficult times. xx
Cherie
Cherie, thank you for your kind thoughts, they’re greatly appreciated. x
What a moving post. I’m sure your strength and the bonds between you all will get you through any present difficulties, however they are resolved.
PS – you haven’t aged a bit!
Suelle, thank you! Hope you’re well! Is it gooseberry and rhubarb season? And I’m as old as the hills – I took a photo of my hair this morning to see how grey I was going. That was a mistake. ;-)
This post moved me to happy tears (and it clearly touched a nerve with many others by the number of comments you have here). You are an amazing woman Celia, I love your honesty. Your life mirrors mine in so many ways right round the other side of the world…I’m sure so many other women of our age will feel the same. Good times, bad times….we all go through this but like you I don’t want to let the bad stuff define me. Even though things are tough right now, I can honestly say I am the most content and at peace with my life, my relationship with Big Man and my family than I have ever been. Bless you hun, take care of each other xx
My darling friend, I’m thinking of you this morning from the other side of the world. Hope all is well. Much love to you both.. xxx
Thank you Celia, what a lovely ode to your family and what defines you. My family is also very important to me, my partner of 15 years and my two children. And my parents. Writing, my spiritual life and my friends are also very important to me.
Thanks Sara! We’re so lucky to have wonderful families, aren’t we? :)
Thank you for that post Celia. It really helped me to put things in perspective this morning and was just what I needed at just the right time. :)
Oh how wonderful, I’m so glad if it helped you in some small way. Comments like yours make writing these posts worthwhile, thank you!
Ditto Rose! I look at how things you share on this blog and how you have influenced me and it is quite amazing. I know you are sharing from your heart and it is appreciated greatly. The ying and yang of life, who would be without it?
I may even take the time to think about what defines me. I still say “when I grow up I’ll do this, that or whatever”. Reckon I should just realise that time has happened! Joyous, that’s how you make me feel :)
Maree, I on the other hand, have marveled at how you’ve managed to bake bread in that tiny oven for so long, and cheered when you went home from Sydney with more Spanish cazuelas than you could carry, and can’t wait to see the progress in your new kitchen. Your sharing makes me joyous too! :)
Another lovely and honest post from you Celia, beautifully written. I’m so glad I found your blog, I remember a few weeks after first coming to this site there was a rainy cold weekend and I spent a good part of it reading through all your posts. I really appreciate the honesty of your writing. I’m defined by my family, they mean more to me than anything and their health and happiness is the most important thing to me. My husband and I spend all our time together :) I know some couples need me time but we have always been happy with each other’s company, I hope it will always be like that.
Stefanie, I hope you will too – it’s the very best thing in the world! I’ve always known from your comments how much your treasure your family – they’re lucky to have you, and you them! Thank you for taking the time to read, it’s always so nice to hear from you.
Such a lovely post Celia – hot chocolate for the soul. I’ve been thinking about you since your last post when you described your angel-making and Big Boy cooking dinner – because ‘he noticed’. I have a Celia-Angel which you sent me quite some time ago. I have her dangling from a lamp where she occasionally winks and glints and makes me smile. I hope I’m defined by the people I like and admire – that would make me very content…and thank you for saying so beautifully that happiness is created not by the big things in life but by all the little moments, no matter how fleeting, when we can smile and feel that ‘now’ is just perfect.
Jan darling, I’m sitting here on an easy Saturday morning, reading and replying to these wonderful comments as slowly as I can, because they’re making me so happy. I have my morning hot chocolate, and the house is incredibly quiet because all three men are fast asleep. And I’m chatting to you. How can a moment get better? :)
What a beautiful post! I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for saying that your family and relationships are so important. I agree, and sometimes I feel I don’t hear that often enough in this fast-paced world.Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Thanks Jenny! As I posted it, I wondered if the feminists might have a field day with me, defining myself by my relationships rather than my “achievements”. I honestly do believe that my relationships ARE my greatest achievements! :)
What a truly beautiful post Celia! I love the way you describe your relationship with your husband, it gives me hope as I’m yet to find “my lobster” :)
It is true, I taught a dough class today with some of my customers… Which never would have happened if I had sent got brave enough to start with sourdough!!!! thank you for sharing your wonderful story… You just don’t know how many people you touch! Liz xxx
Liz, that is too wonderful for words, knowing that Priscilla’s baby led you to teaching a dough class! Thank you for letting me know that! :) Your kind words mean a lot, thank you for those too.. xxx
What a lovely post – sentiments I try to live my life by. There is nothing better than a good relationship and nothing worse than a bad one. And I have recently managed to create a sourdough starter so I am also very excited about that!!! Hope the more difficult things in your life pass quickly.
Thank you! Have a wonderful sourdough adventure – I certainly have! :)
Thank you So much Celia, have had a wonderful adventure following your
blog through Not quite Nigella since 19 July 2011 that is when I found your inspiring aptitude with words and the love of life! I am a single Mum but your recipes and amazing outlook have helped us beyond words. We are more then grateful for your thoughtfulness and Pay it Forward attitude!
Maddy & Family x
Maddy, such a kind comment, thank you so much! It’s incredibly rewarding to know folks are reading and finding bits of what I write useful. I hope you’re still getting lots of glorious meals from your Romertopf – I have a new winter recipe coming up in it soon! :)
Beautiful post Celia and wish you and your family continued health, joy and happiness. Also happy to have part of your generous spirit in my fridge. As I know only to well that life can change in a moment… I try to be grateful and remember all the blessings that life has already given me :) And so true… now is the only moment we have. Xx
Moya, what a joy to get a comment from a friend on the other side of the world! I think of you often when I see my little ceramic egg tray – I wish I’d seen yours sooner, because we now use it every single day! Thank you for brightening my morning. :)
I don’t think that Pete and you have changed that much, the same love shines through. You have handsome sons, and the very best kind of parenting skills.
Wonderful post Celia and I respect your choice not to “market” your blog. Like minded individuals have found there way to you, your generosity is a blessing to us all.
Liz, thank you! We were traveling home with the kids on the light rail yesterday, and I saw Big Boy lean over in the crowded carriage and give his girlfriend a very sweet kiss on the cheek. Pete saw too, and he said, “see, we’ve set a good example..”, then he gave me a peck on the cheek too. I hope both our sons have lives filled with as much contentment as we have had.
What a lovely post, I just love the conversations and sharing our blogs bring, and I love honest personal posts, like this one.
I think the question of what defines me is an interesting one…since I made the decision to stay at home, a lot of people around me have struggled with it. Having always been a doer and an achiever and a real people person, some people can’t understand my decision to want to be at home, mostly on my own everyday, but that’s based on their feelings and their ideas. I’m as happy as can be, probably happier than I’ve ever been :) so I think the question of what defines me is based on how people perceive happiness and success.
As far as I concerned, my happy marriage; my healthy, happy child; my healthy, fit puppy; my daily contentedness and constant smile are what define me.
Not sure I’ve made any sense at all!!??
You’ve made perfect sense. And you’re wise not to let other people’s opinions influence what defines you – life is very short, and being happier than you’ve ever been is a great and wonderful thing! I think we model happiness to our children and they learn from it! :)
I absolutely agree, my son sees a happy home; happy, loving parents; me full of fulfilment and peace and serenity…that makes me even happier :)
Thank you for your lovely response, I’ve been thinking about what I wrote and wondering if I said too much!! x
I would have loved to have read more!! xxx
Thank you :) maybe there’s a post in there….? xx
It would be great to read. And probably very enlightening to write! :)
Probably xx
(It’s definitely created an interesting discussion with my man as we walked Bob this morning x)
This blog post is what keeps me coming here Ms Celia. I found your blog through Wild Yeast and a shared interest in what the humble bacteria can do to make our food better but I kept coming back because this blog is shiny and I am a magpie. What defines me? I guess my need to learn and what I need to learn and taking joy from simple things. I am never happier than when I “get it” and when I get one of those amazing confluences of magic that let me know that I am currently participating in something that actually matters, I know that I am sharing the same emotion that humanity has felt through the ages. Life is so very good and it is up to us to find out the why’s and wherefores of that good. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt post Ms Celia. I am with you on letting people who actually give a damn about you find your blog. Once you pare all of that S.E.O. out of the picture many blogs are simply about selling something. That never happens here. I always leave feeling like I have been given a gift. You are a very generous person with your time, your energy and your words Celia. I hope that whatever it is that is giving you pause for thought at the moment eases soon.
Fran, you know, I know you do, that life is always complicated and difficult, but that doesn’t take away from it being simple and joyous and perfect and happy. That sounds like a contradiction, but it isn’t, it’s really just about our mindset and how we see the world and understanding how very much we have to be grateful for, rather than measuring our worth by what we lack or are limited by. And because I know that you, and others like you, understand, these posts seem to worm their way out of me by themselves. Thank you… x
:)
I love this post and I think you nailed it with this “if we take our measure from the positive things in our lives rather than the negative ones, we’re far more likely to find enduring happiness and contentment.” That’s the perfect recipe for life.
Thanks Sammie! It’s not always easy, but that’s definitely what I work towards! :)
Dear Celia, it’s your honesty and generosity shining through your posts that keeps me coming back to you ever since I have stumbled upon your blog by accident. So thank you for being you and for inspiring me x
Ania, thank you – it’s been a joy to peek into your life through your IMK posts! :)
Celia, I feel like I know you. As mentioned, you’ve challenges; but, I love that you opt to showcase the amazing and joyful moments that seem huge. Your love story is heart-warming and so touching. I’m jealous! Everyone shd have a snippet of your love. May you and yr beautiful family continue to have many more years of love and happiness.
Thanks for sharing.
Cheers!
Thank you! I wish everyone *could* have a snippet of our love, it enriches my life beyond measure! :)
Thanks for, as always, sharing your thoughts so openly Celia. For me too my family are a huge part of what defines me, and I’ve also been spending quite a bit of time recently, focussing on gratitude in my life and am finding it very rewarding…
Beck, we all have so much to be thankful for, don’t we…thank you for taking the time to read our blog! :)
I always enjoy seeing photos of you and Pete together… you are blessed in so many ways, darling Celia. Thank you for a heartfelt post, thank you for sharing your wisdom. xxx
Darling, it’s always a joy to chat to you, thank you for your compassion and wise counsel. And for in part inspiring this post! :)
I’m not a blogger but I look forward to reading your comments each day. Like you I have hit some road bumps in the course of life that I didn’t know I needed to have. I have focussed on being a survivor of these road bumps rather than a victim and encouraged my (now adult) daughters to do so too. I’m proud of the way they have become wonderful strong women with good careers that they really enjoy. With my eldest daughter who is called Celia, I have had one lovely wedding where we danced up the aisle to give her away and now a beautiful grandson, and early next year my youngest daughter is getting married too. Victoria (from Melbourne)
Victoria, thank you for sharing a bit of your wonderful story with us! How joyful! I’m really glad everything is going smoothly for you. I completely understand your comment about us having to have difficulties, I think that’s so true. It’s hard to appreciate how blessed we are otherwise!
Celia, you have wrapped me up in the most wonderfully warm comforting hug with this magnificent post, thank you! I wish all couples the love you and Pete share!
Have a beautiful and happy day.
:-) Mandy xo
Hello my darling friend, I know you and your Pete understand what it’s like to be so close. It’s a blessing, isn’t it! Much love to you both! xxx
Love these musings and I do wish I could spend this summer morning sharing a cup of hot chocolate and a slice of your sourdough bread!
Cass, thank you! I’ll pour you a virtual cuppa! :)
In our house Celia you are defined by your Butterscotch Bars (I even sent my niece back to Sydney with your recipe) and by your version of a spurtle. I’m glad that life is grand for you at the moment – life here is the same.
Your image of me is a good baker with a naughty mind? Oh I’m completely happy with that. I still think your next blog should be called Huffers and Spurtles. Glad to hear life is grand for you, how could it be otherwise with a new grand-baby? ;-)
What a lovely life and a lovely family you have. We are all lucky to have you in our lives- whether on the outskirts or the inner circle. You take such joy and care in what you do and that always shines through. Im very happy to have read this post today.
Vita, thank you for saying that! If it brought cheer to you, then it was worth writing! :)
Dear Celia what a wonderful post, sincere and deep. You ask what things define us.
I think the things I love, define me:
My kids, my grand children, my love for reading, gardening, baking etc etc.
I´m a very curious person and everything interested me. Sometimes this makes me feel that I do a lot of things but everything very superficially, but, at 57, I accepted that this is the way I´m ……..
Sometimes I´ld like to have a better blog, one more fancy, or stylish, but after some thinking I realize that this is not my aim at all: The blog is simply a sort of diary of my life. When I looked back I see people that there isn´t here any more, flowers that I didn´t remember, gifts, moments of joy, sad moments, everything.
And I love it just this way.
And me too, I´m trying to enjoy everyday. Not to be obsessed with home cores or work to do, or tasks to be accomplished.
Thanks for remembering us the path we want to follow.
Thanks for this internet/far away/ friendship.
Have a nice weekend!
Here in Argentina is a crispy, sunny and cool Friday morning.
Alexxxxx
Ale, I understand completely, my blog is the same – I want it to be a record of all the happiness we have from day to day! I think you are absolutely wonderful just the way you are – don’t ever change! :) xxx
I’ve been reading your blog for a few months now Celia and I think it’s lovely. I enjoy reading about what you get up to in Sydney as I live in the inner west too so often I either know the places you’re talking about or note them down to visit in the future! I also like your kitchen posts and the bread ones too. There’s something very comforting about them.
What defines me? The people I love in my life I think and the choices I’ve made to get where I am right now. I’ve taken a few chances in the last couple of years and they’ve served me well so far. I have a job that has given me the opportunity to do some fantastic things to help others and I’m grateful for that each day. I agree with you too – doing your best to focus on the positive in the midst of life’s crap really does help : )
Good for you! How great that you’re in a job that lets you help others every day, that must be incredibly rewarding. Thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings! :)
Ever since Ella Dee linked to my blog in a comment on yours, I’ve been dipping in and out, enjoying, tasting and appreciating. Today’s post has decided me, and I’ll be following from now on. I love a person who is contented, fulfilled, creative and happy, and this shines out in your blog. To define myself, I’d say: I’m happy, loved, creative, contented and supremely interested in the world around me and my fellow (wo)man.
Kate, that’s very kind of you, thank you! Contentment, it’s a rare gift, isn’t it? And aren’t we lucky to have it! :)
What a lovely blog post Celia, one that has flavors of life, with all of its ups and down written in a positive manner. I have a feeling we would get on great if we met in real life! Hugs to you!
Laila, I reckon we would too. I think (or I’d like to think) that we have the same priorities. :) Big hugs back! xxx
Beautiful post Celia and I just love the photo of you guys early in your relationship. I feel very blessed to have a great husband who is also a saint ;) we’ve been together for 20 years this boxing day and through some of our own trials and illnesses have both been off work together at home everyday for nearly a year and we aren’t sick of each other a bit – which some people find amazing. I’m lucky he has his own hobbies and loves pottering in the garden and his man cave. I suppose my family define me too and is what I’m proudest of. Thanks for the reminder to think of these and this perfect moment and thank you for your blog – I’m so pleased to have found it in all this crazy mixed up internet world!!
Warm regards, Jan x
Jan, I’m so glad you’ve been able to find perfect moments during what many would regard as a difficult year. I hope things ease a bit for you. All the very best! x
Oh golly – what to say Celia? Not sure I can define what defines me! My blog has made a huge difference to my life – and while I DO read things about how to improve a blog and have attended blogging conferences, I take it all with a pinch of salt and weed out a lot of the advice that leads to cookie cutter blogging and would make me miserable. I write long posts and often off topic – I’m very inconsistent… a vegan cookbook review followed by how to cook a whole brisket made me chuckle at its ‘how not to blog’ absurdity :)
So glad you mention your parenting/family goals – always wise. Those boys are so lucky to have you as parents. Being a tiny part of this wonderful community you’ve nurtured through Priscilla and on this page has definitely enriched my life. Much love xxx
i just wanted to say what a lovely post you’ve written. You always come across as a really nice person (not in a creepy “nice” kind of way though!!) I love reading your blog although I don’t comment often. I do find your foody/crafty posts to be inspiring – I’m especially in awe of Priscilla!!
I’m here. Finally. This is absolutely beautiful, Celia. And it’s just what I needed to read right now… something calm, real and of substance (and not food related- ha!) The way you write flows effortlessly and I can feel the love between you and all of your boys. Love that picture ;)
Your quote “not because I wish to present a glossied up version of our lives – but because I refuse to let them define who I am. ” That says it all. My family, my kids, of course they define who I am- but happiness and positive energy, and compassion is what defines me as a human being. I’ve always been this way, so I know it to be true.
I have to say, I really enjoyed reading through all of these comments. This community of yours is a very special place to be- because we want to be here xoxoxo
Thank you for this post Celia. This has come at exactly the time I needed to read something like this. Thank you for your wonderful blog and thoughts as always.
Celia, this post made me extremely happy… joyous… loving life and YOU! xo This is what it’s all about.
You are a very special person Celia, thank you for sharing not just your skills but your thoughts and feelings.
Thank you so much for your blog Celia. It is by far my favourite and I recommend it to everyone I know who is interested in real food and bread and living as well as possible in our lovely city. I most recently showed it to an Icelandic woman living in Malmo Sweden who immediately made your microwave lemon curd. It is a privilege to hear your thoughts, philosophies and enthusiasms.
This is written so well, that I keep coming back to it. I especially like the two paragraphs:
“This moment, as I sit here in the quiet of an early Sunday morning, scribbling on a scrap of paper, sipping hot chocolate, listening to the hum of the oven, feeling the warmth of the gas heater, watching my dough rise – this moment is perfect. And really, this moment is all we ever have – it’s our only reality.
I believe…that we need to make conscious choices about what we allow to define us. And that if we take our measure from the positive things in our lives rather than the negative ones, we’re far more likely to find enduring happiness and contentment.”
You said it. And excellently.