I realised something yesterday.
I was watching Jamie Oliver’s brilliant new show, Keep Cooking and Carry On. Have you seen it? He and his family are isolating at home, so he’s been filming a series on how to make hearty meals using the ingredients folks have in their pantries and freezers. He mentioned recently that it’s all being filmed by his wife Jools on a mobile phone!
As I watched the first episode, I realised that what he was doing went beyond simply teaching folks how to make pasta from flour and water, or a fish pie from frozen ingredients. The subtle, unspoken message he was sending out was… “you don’t have to be afraid“.
I think this has the potential to be hugely impactful. At the moment, we’re all a little afraid. We’re a species that has evolved to live in groups, so being forced to self-isolate can be daunting, for some of us more than others. And whereas we could normally turn to our friends and loved ones in times of need, the current situation finds us all stressed and anxious, which makes it difficult for us to support one another as we’ve been able to in the past.
So here’s what I think we need to do. If we can find some way to help another person feel less afraid, even if we ourselves are afraid, then we should try and do it. It could be as small a gesture as a phone call to say “how are you going?” or “let me know if you need anything”. Just knowing someone else has thought of us is reassuring in and of itself, and will help reduce the nervousness that we’re all feeling right now.
More than ever, our communities are important. Take the initiative and attempt to create a connection – by text or email or a note in the letterbox if you’re shy. I know this is massively easier for us raging extroverts, and I’m not suggesting we all reach out to strangers at this time. But a phone call to reassure an elderly relative, or a text message to a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, or even ordering takeaway from your local eatery – all these actions send a message that says, “you’re not alone, we haven’t forgotten about you, you don’t have to be afraid”.
For us, this has meant baking loaves of bread and delivering them to neighbours’ doorsteps, or leaving essential supplies (and treats!) on the back deck for family and friends to pick up. In return, my wonderful community has ensured that we haven’t had to visit a supermarket once since lockdown, leaving cereal, sugar, eggs, butter and gifts at our back door. And in reality, none of this is critical. We could easily go shopping, and my neighbours could just as easily buy a loaf of bread. But the true value lies in the reassurance these small acts bring – the reminder that, as Jamie says, we’re all in this together.
At times of stress and fear, we instinctively turn our focus inward, especially when we have families. As my friend Kim very astutely put it, “at the moment we mothers just want to gather everyone safely and circle the wagons”. But I think it’s really important that we also force ourselves to look outwards, to ascertain how we can support each other within the confines of our current social restrictions. It’s a positive act that will help us to feel better about ourselves, and might also help someone else. And hopefully, we can all be less afraid, knowing that none of us have to face this current crisis alone. ♥
Fig Jam and Lime Cordial 