There’s been a lot of discussion about mental health lately.
A couple of weeks’ ago, Australian billionaire James Packer resigned from his public company boards, citing mental health issues. A few days later, Professor Patrick McGorry published this opinion piece. In it, he discussed current government initiatives in the area, and what further steps need to be taken to ensure that all Australians have access to appropriate and necessary treatment.
Prof. McGorry is correct, of course, mental health should be afforded the same concern and care as physical health in terms of government support and services. But it also made me think about what we as individuals could do to bolster both our own mental wellbeing, as well as that of those around us.
And I realised that…we can be kind.
We can be kind to ourselves.
I’ve suffered from anxiety my entire life. Looking back, I suspect it was exacerbated by being a severe asthmatic at a time before Ventolin existed, but there is also a clearly identifiable anxious gene which runs right through my dad’s side of the family. Most of the time, I think it’s quite well managed (Pete might not agree), but over the years, I’ve experienced several bouts of that gut-wrenching, wish-I-was-dead, internal turmoil which is almost impossible to explain to folks with calmer dispositions. “Just don’t worry about it” is their usual, well meaning advice.
Over time, I’ve learnt strategies to maintain my balance, but I know it’s a work in progress (and trust me, the menopause hormones aren’t helping). More importantly though, I’ve learnt to be kind to myself. I no longer see my anxiety as a weakness – it’s simply part of who I am – so I no longer beat myself up about it. I’ve long ago accepted I’m never going to be willowy thin…or always calm.
We can be kind to others.
Ironically, first world society is hard on all of us. We are constantly bombarded with bad news, struggling to keep afloat financially, and trying to live up to peer pressure and the expectations of family. Most of us no longer need to worry about where our next meal is coming from, but stress can be very real and debilitating nonetheless.
There is probably little we can do to change society at large, but I think we can make a small difference by actively trying to be kinder to others. I know it sounds trite, but saying “good morning” to my fellow bay run walkers brightens my day, and I’d like to think it brings them a little cheer too. Stopping to acknowledge someone asking for coins, actively building neighbourhood communities, saying thank you – any small act of kindness might bring a moment of happiness to someone else’s day and improve their mental and emotional wellbeing. It will help ours too.
Let’s cut strangers some slack – if the waitress is grumpy, don’t let that spoil the meal. She might be having a rough time, and getting her in trouble with her supervisor won’t help anyone. Let’s try not to slam a fist on the horn when someone cuts us off at the roundabout. It will raise both their blood pressure and ours. Stuff is going to happen all the time that we have no control over – all we can do is respond in as gentle and considered a way as we can manage. It’s not worth taking any of it personally, because most of the time, it’s not about us.
Even more importantly, let’s do what we can to shelter and empower those we love. Big Boy and Small Man are now 25 and 21 respectively, and both trying to find their way as young adults in a competitive world. Society places enough expectation on them without Pete and I adding our own, so we try (I’m not saying we’re always successful) to give them as much space as we can. We try to provide them with a home where they can feel unconditionally loved and completely at ease. We try to offer advice and guidance without expecting it to be actioned. And seeing so many young people struggling to maintain their equilibrium in this fast moving and stressful age makes us determined to try even harder.
Wishing you all a very happy Easter. May it be joyous and calm and stress-free! ♥
Fig Jam and Lime Cordial 
Very well put! It’s so easy to say heartfelt compliments and to really see the sacred seed in everyone. Namaste and treat others as we would like to be treated are beautiful ways of seeing the world around us. What a timely and sweet reminder you gave us today, thanks!xx
Thanks Celia. Life can be hard at times. Good advice to try and follow.
Wonderful post Celia. Thank you.
I think it’s pretty clear you practice your own advice to be kind. It shines out from your blog and earns you love, respect and gratitude from a wide and far-flung range of people. The anxiety you speak of is nowhere apparent in your writing, so I think you have that rather well under control… Have an enjoyable and peaceful Easter, and celebrate with the family you’ve raised so well.
Have a wonderful Easter! Great advice. A little kindness can go a long way.
Beautiful posting. Brave of you to share your anxiety with us. Well done! Happy Easter.
OH GOD! Baby Girl! I agree – COMPLETELY! Of course we worry! and for the record – my record – Trying works. Love love.. c
Great advice. You are right, Happy Easter! Love you!!
Beautifully put, Celia, and something i will read more than once. I have the worry-wart-anxiety-fight-flight gene, always expecting to be judged by some indefinable standard and to be found wanting – BUT – i too believe in greeting the world with a smile and accepting that other people, too, have their own worrys and problems just like me. And just like me, other people feel better if greeted with a smile and an open heart- it increases the sum total of happiness in the world – unlike a honk on the horn. I also believe that we do better if we notice the small things about which to be thankful – and to say “thank you” even if i am entirely alone – it’s a reason to smile :)
You have made a worthwhile Easter present to each and every reader of your posts in opening up your world and allowing us to share. I was brought up in a family who worried and oft did not let the sun shine . . . ongoing years and ‘maturity’ have taught me that at times I simply opt out of the stress situation and let time take care of perceived trouble heading my way. You brought up James Packer: rather naturally my mind is on Australian Cricket which has come apart at the seams from sheer stupidity. At least three young cricketers, at the top of their game, made a very wrong decision and brought shame to their country! BUT: the world has truly stopped them in their tracks and my heart broke last night watching Steve Smith. Perchance kindness and understanding that none of us are perfect should be in our minds regarding their humanity also . . .
Beautiful post..not surprising coming from you, who have always had great powers of observation and introspection. I’m still trying to wrap my head around Big Boy and Small Man being 25 and 21!! They are forever children in my mind!
Timely advise, especially for us here in the U.S. The whole political atmosphere is so in shambles. Everything is topsy turvy! I hope we get our act together soon, but in the mean time kindness will work. Thanks for your lovely blog. I always look forward to your posts.
Such an important topic, Celia. There isn’t much tolerance for imperfection in our world today, and cruelty often follows someone’s pain. We can’t change everything, but we can all be advocates for those who are struggling. I have very close friends dealing with terrible anxiety and/or depression and I see the struggle. I appreciate how honest you are about your own experiences, Celia. I hope you enjoy a very meaningful Easter.
Dear Celia, first of all I thank you that you have shared your story with us, I personally take it as a gift and for you as being brave to share. Second, I can relate so much to your emotions you are describing, it’s like I am finding myself through your expressive words. Being kind is the essence of the purpose of our life and you certainly carry your kindness through out your posts and there fore to the entire world, to all your international followers. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your thoughts and emotions.
This is beautifully written, Celia, a lovely and gentle reminder of the need to care for ourselves and for others through simple and genuine kindness. Simple kindness often costs nothing and yet it can make such a difference to someone’s day. I really hope that we all get to that place in our country where our mental wellbeing is considered as important as our physical wellbeing. Meg Xx
What lovely words Celia, i have followed your blog for a while and always look forward to your posts; this one is especially lovely!
There are several members of my family who suffer from anxiety so I can see how difficult it can be. Thankfully I missed out on that gene. I certainly would not have picked it in you.
I think your kindness shines through in the way you live your life!
Well said and you are absolutely right. Kindness costs nothing and is positive for both the receiver and giver.
Happy Easter.
Joan
Wishing you internal peace and mental strength always. You are a great mentor, and that’s an awesome strength!
Hi Celia, I’ve had a lovely day baking your Easter buns which have become my traditional thing to do every Good Friday for the past few years. So of course I was thinking about you too, and then I just found this wonderful and thoughtful post. Indeed, it doesn’t cost anything to smile at someone, say hello, be kind, especially to the people who don’t normally get smiled at. Offer a helping hand to a young mum with a screaming toddler struggling with her shopping, help an elderly person, have a chat to the trolley guy at the supermarket. I think most of us suffer anxiety to some degree, but some are better at covering it, or dealing with it, but opening ourselves to others and having the gift of appreciation for all that we are blessed to have, seems to help dissipate those anxiety butterflies. Wishing you and your family a peaceful and happy Easter. X
This was a beautiful post Celia. I went back and read everything you linked to. Your older posts are all beautiful too. It’s given me so much to think about. Thank you.
Wonderful post. Being kind, like basic decency, is so often underrated. And yet how kindness can shine like a little beacon. I, too, am an anxious person. In Maine, we call such a person “nervous.” Yup, that’s me, a nervous Nellie. Like you, I have learned to both accept it and cope with it.
Dear Celia, I do hope you know just how much your words mean to so many of us. Your kindness lies in how giving you are (Don’t worry, I’m not saying you are a saint, just growing into your humanness). You think about the small things and moments and the world is made up of them, not the huge momentous events.Thank you. have a wonderful Easter.
Being kind is so easy yet so many people won’t even try. My parents always said please and thank you when asking me to do something, be it a household chore or handing them a book or other item. I remember them thanking checkout clerks, gas station attendants, and just about anyone else they interacted with during the day. They always used please and thank you with each other. I still get odd looks from my spouse when I say please when asking him to do something or thank him for cooking or just being nice. Thank you for the reminder, it never hurts. Have a beautiful Easter.
Absolutely. It costs nothing (or very little) to be kind and try to make someone happy – and although that’s not expected it often bears fruit and makes us happy too.
I enjoy smiling randomly. Some people smile back (score!) Others look at me as though I’ve escaped from a secure unit 😂.
Oh I so agree…some of the grumpy folk around me accuse me of always finding excuses for other people when they don’t quite come up to the mark…but I truly believe that there’s probably a reason and , as you say, we sometimes need to cut them some slack!
One hundred times yes!
“Find out what makes you kinder, what opens you up and brings out the most loving, generous, and unafraid version of you―and go after those things as if nothing else matters. Because, actually, nothing does.” ~ George Saunders
“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible”. – Dalai Lama
Love and hugs to you.
:-) Mandy xo
So true! A little kindness can make such a difference to the giver and the receiver. Happy Easter xx
Wise words. My mother is a great one for quoting sayings and throughout our childhood would tell us “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” It’s a pretty good mantra to live by.
You might be interested in this article by my brother-in-law linking mental health and food http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-03-26/could-sea-help-manage-mental-illness/8343932
Happy Easter Celia.
Thank you so much for a beautiful and inspirational post. Hope that you and your family have enjoyed a wonderful Easter weekend.
What a beautiful post. Years ago, my company moved to a part of downtown where there were significantly more homeless so one of the employees called the mental health and addiction branch of the government asking how to deal with them. They were very helpful and said to acknowledge them first, look them in the eye, even if you have nothing to give them. It made such a difference, I practise that advice to this day and it’s far less stressful than ignoring them. Thanks for the great advice.
Darling Celia, one of the very kindest people I know — thank you for your openness and wisdom. Oh, and your bread and hot cross buns, too! #neighbours Love, Jane
Food for thought … Some excellent advise here … I don’t even watch the news anymore … I’d much rather focus on more positive things ..like nature( ha Ha) ..This was a nicely composed post and I truly enjoyed it. I agree that often waiters and other workers are grumpy because of ‘ who knows what ‘ but often times a smile or cheery word can make their day … It just needs practise on behalf of our society to have patience,tolerance and respect for one another… Thanks for sharing the thoughts… Have a Blessed day !!!
You know Celia, I always love your words. Weather it be a bread post or a reflection on life and circumstance! Thank you! X
This is my first time using my word press account and yes I am a new blogger. Should I even use that description? Your words about being kind are so apt, not to mention needed. We could all use a kind word and thank you for saying so. I am so glad I began my blogging journey with you.