Making a “Bucket List” seems to be all the rage these days. For the uninitiated, the term refers to an arbitrary list of (occasionally outrageous) goals one wishes to achieve before “kicking the bucket”.
And every time I read an article on this concept, it makes me uncomfortable. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for having hopes and dreams, but the idea of having a set list of things to achieve prior to dying has never sat well with me. I know from experience that life can be very unpredictable, and setting a series of highly ambitious, possibly unattainable goals (fly into space? climb Mount Everest?) might end up doing one’s self-esteem more harm than good.
That’s not to say that I haven’t had some wonderful adventures in my life! They might seem simple and low key compared to those of folks who have traveled extensively, but I’m incredibly grateful for them nonetheless.
So I thought I’d make a retrospective bucket list – I’m still very much alive, and delighted to have already experienced the following…
. . . . .
1. I’ve been madly in love with the same handsome man for thirty years. And he still loves me. Perhaps this is our greatest life achievement, because love isn’t the result of luck or circumstance, but of constant effort and adjustment and giving. We’ve had our share of hiccups along the way, but thankfully they’ve strengthened our relationship rather than weakened it.
After all this time, I’m so happy that my husband still looks at me like this…

. . . . .
2. We’ve had two wonderful sons, both of whom are loving and interesting and kind. When I watch the gentle but non-indulgent way Big Boy treats his girlfriend, I can see how much he’s learnt from observing his father. And that makes me so happy that I could cry. Having children isn’t a part of everyone’s life plan, nor should it be, but I’m incredibly grateful to have had the opportunity to be a mother.

. . . . .
3. I’ve lived in the future! I grew up a dedicated science fiction fan, and desperately wanted to still be alive at a time when doors would open automatically like they did on Star Trek, and we could talk to loved ones face to face on the phone like Jane Jetson. Today, my phone will tell me how to drive to another city, and I can point it at the night sky and know the names of the constellations. Maybe one day we really will be able to teleport from one place to another.
. . . . .
4. I’ve eaten fresh asparagus within seconds of picking it. I have held a warm hen’s egg, seconds after it was laid. I’ve known the joy of sowing seeds, watching them grow, then harvesting and eating the produce. All experiences which might have been commonplace a century ago, but are now rare and precious in our modern city lives.

. . . . .
5. I’ve tasted some of the finest wines in the world, from Chateau Margaux to Romanee Conti to vintage Krug champagne. I’ve sipped a 120 year old Madeira. I’ve drunk Grange Hermitage and Chateau Lafite with pizza (granted, it was very good pizza).
. . . . .
6. We’ve collected a mantlepiece worth of fossils, each one a reminder of how short and transient our time on this earth is. Holding a 240 million year old ammonite or the tooth of a woolly mammoth is both awe-inspiring and humbling, at the same time.

. . . . .
7. We have TYFs – thirty-year friends – whom we’ve been close to for our entire adult lives. Some of them live in our suburb. These friends occupy a special place in my heart – when I’m with them, there’s no need for pretense or niceties, sometimes not even conversation. I’ve shed many tears with all of them – both in laughter and in sadness.
. . . . .
8. I’ve enjoyed some of the “finer” aspects of life – I’ve stayed in the penthouse of one five star hotel, and the presidential suite of another. I’ve eaten at more hatted restaurants than I care to count. And you know what? It’s all very nice, but it’s overrated. If I never experienced any of those things again, I honestly wouldn’t mind.
. . . . .
9. I’ve spent many days sitting in a paediatric oncology clinic, surrounded by sick children and their parents. It certainly wasn’t something I did by choice, but it was humbling and inspiring and perspective-altering and heartbreaking and above all, a great honour to spend time in the presence of such great dedication and courage.
. . . . .
10. I’ve known the joy and satisfaction that comes from making things with my hands. I’ve learnt to cook, taught myself to sew, designed and crafted jewellery and planted a garden. My wise friend Di once told me that her father always said a bricklayer had the most satisfying of jobs, because at the end of each day, he could look at the wall he’d built and see what he’d created with his own hands. I completely understand that.

. . . . .
Tell me, what’s on your retrospective bucket list? What experiences are you grateful for having had during your lifetime, and why?






























